17th December, 2007
Of cute little boys and bugs.
So we have ants in our front bathroom.
Again.
They usually visit about this time of year, when it gets real cold.
They wander aimlessly about the floor and counter for weeks, a stray one here and there, driving me almost completely batty as I try without success to rid the room of the horrible creatures.
Ian’s found a way to make use of their presence. He smashes them with his finger or blows on them. Which keeps him busy and probably irritates the ants – two positives in my book.
This morning though, he goes in to the bathroom, comes back out and announces to me, “ANT!”
I say, “Are the ants back again?”
And in his best sympathetic voice responds, “Yea!” Then he runs back to the bathroom.
A few minutes later he returns with a paper towel and says to me, “Wipe up!”
Which sounds like he’s asking me to wipe them up, but in 2 year old lingo he means HE wiped them up already.
“You wiped them up?” I happily ask.
“YEA!” He says, proudly.
That’s my boy!
Now if I can just get him to kill spiders for me (and to stop running away from discovered lint proclaiming “Pider!”) I’ll be ecstatic.
Posted at 8:42 am | Comment (1)
17th December, 2007
And this is what I dream of when I do sleep.
So I had this dream last night.
We were sitting around our kitchen table with some friends (in the house that was ours in our dream, not in real life, which is always the way it is when I dream of our “home” and probably means something but I have no clue what). All of a sudden, the roof starts to sound like one of those hand held cheapo plastic maze thingamabobs you’d get in an Easter basket when you were a kid that had a teeny bead inside that you had to direct to the end, only this maze was much larger and with lots more beads. Naturally, we all look up (where I notice our roof was quite rustic and frankly in need of some shingles, but that’s beside the point).
Finally, the “beads” all emerge, stopping at the base of the roof and wall. We notice they’re pill capsules in blue, orange and yellow (see, proof that we DO dream in color). I was quite perplexed when our pastors wife, bless her dear heart, announces to us that they are a specific type of illegal medication (which in real life does not come in the form of a capsule, but that’s beside the point). I was slightly confused at how she knew this information, but who am I to question it? I had illegal medication oozing from my roof!
Someone else around our kitchen table explained that people (illegal medication owners) stick the capsules into unsuspecting, innocent people’s roof shingles so when the illegal medication owners break another law, like, say, driving with only one brake light working, get pulled over by the police and the nice policeman searches their car because he “suspects” something is amiss (since he’s a smart cop), and won’t find the illegal medication in the driver of the car with the broken brake light because it’s hidden inside their unsuspecting neighbors roof.
Oh. Gotcha.
This is when I say to my husband who is still looking up at our roof in utter amazement, “SEEEEE!!!!!! SEEEEEEEE!!!!!! I KNEW I HEARD FOOTSTEPS ON THE ROOF ONE NIGHT!!!!!!!” (and in real life, I did, only he said it was our cat, which I was totally unconvinced about at the time, but that’s beside the point).
So I do what any good problem solving wife and mother would do. I find my bike, hop on, and hoist Ian onto the handlebars. It’s the quickest getaway we had (frankly, I have no idea where our cars were, but again, that’s beside the point, of which I do not have one so please don’t keep looking for it). I tell the girls to get on their bikes and we begin to pedal down the street, knowing the capsule hiding thugs would show up at our house any second, having heard the gigantic maze commotion with their canine like hearing and do something thugish to us.
When I get a ways away (apparently leaving our guests to fend for themselves), I notice my husband isn’t with us. So I stop, look back and notice that he’s getting our boat ready for a quick getaway. Up until that point, I didn’t even know we had a boat. Isn’t it amazing what you learn in dreams? So he calls us back.
No. Way. Jose. Those thugs are gonna show up any second!
Then I woke up.
Which now leaves me with many plaguing questions. Did we ever get away? Why didn’t the illegal medication hoarders not just hide them in their own roofs? Or better yet, bury them? Or I know, just STOP being BAD and flush them all down the toilet? And where did we get the money for a boat? And what in the world was I thinking when I put my son on the handlebars of my bike? Hello? That’s really the wierdest part of the whole dream. I would outfit all my children in steel reinforced plastic bubbles if I could. The handlebar thing would just. Never. Happen.
Ah well. It’s a good thing dreams don’t mean anything.
Off to check my roof.
Posted at 8:10 am | Comment (1)
