12th August, 2008
I have an Abbreviation.
Have you noticed? I’ve been on a blogging hiatus. I’m not sure why. It’s not that I haven’t had anything to talk about. I think it’s just that I haven’t been able to articulate anything lately in words coherent enough that they can transfer to the keyboard and ultimately, the blog box. But today. Today! I think I might actually be able to post something worthy of reading. Maybe.
I’ve come to a decision in my life. It involves big letters and a sense of relief. No, I haven’t decided to regularly dose myself with Immodium AD. I have, however, decided to diagnose myself with ADD.
See, part of the fun in doing this is that it doesn’t involve doctors, money and drugs. Instead, it involves, me, the internet and coffee.
I have ADD. How do I know this? Because as a friend stated, my brain doesn’t know how to “be quiet”. Remember this post? OK, yes, it’s an exaggeration. But it’s not terribly so. What’s funny interesting is that when I TRY to focus and concentrate, I can’t do anything else. It teeters on obsession (which would explain my OCD, but that’s been discussed here ad nauseum already, though I’m not at all oppposed to rambling on about it in a future post). So today, thanks to the beauty of internet message boards (we should have an Internet Message Board Awareness Day – I’ll start a petition), I have decided I not only have OCD, SAD and hereditary anxiety, I now have ADD!
Yet you still ask (are you serious?) how I know this.
Well. It’s the Coffee Test. When ADD people drink caffeine, instead of giving them energy and spunk, it mellows them. They can think calmly. Their synapses aren’t going at 90MPH. They feel “normal”.
Here’s the lightening bolt part of the post. Ready?
That is SO me. SO. Me. Even though my body shakes uncontrollably if I drink coffee on an empty stomach, psychologically, I’m chillin’. I’m able to think without constantly interrupting myself. I feel “normal”.
So. To sum up.
Me – ADD.
Got ADD? Drink coffee.
Now, isn’t that wild? Caffeine, a STIMULANT, calms ADD people. ADD! ADD, PEOPLE! IT CALMS US! IT’S LIKE A LIQUID ENIGMA!!!
You know what? I didn’t have coffee today.
I think I made my point.
Posted at 3:08 pm | Comments (2)
11th June, 2008
Please forgive me
for my former whiney entry.
And for not deleting it.
Thank you.
Posted at 6:11 am | Comment (0)
11th June, 2008
24 hour recap.
After almost 2 weeks without kitchen countertops and sink, they are finally installed.
YIPPEEE!!!!!!!!
After the initial oohing and aahing and “Goodbye, thank you”-ing, the problems are found.
There are no pre-drilled holes in the granite for our mounted microwave, as promised.
The sink is bowing.
Four clamps instead of eight will do that.
Jeff is not happy.
Ian whines.
The drill holes in the granite backsplash for the outlets are both too small and not centered properly. The former making the later a moot point, but the added incompetency just enhances the drama, don’t you agree?
The granite company closes at 4:30pm for the day.
It is 5pm.
No sink for another day, minimum.
I almost cry.
Ian, for the fourth time, is discovered to have put large wads of toilet paper into the toilet again.
After fishing them out, I flush it.
Oops.
It overflows all over the floor.
I’m pretty sure I whine.
Several urine scented throw rugs and towels go into the washing machine.
Which predictably throws off the spin cycle in our washer, which is already broken and has been broken for years.
Jeff grunts.
One child informs us that they were hit by another child, and it’s not the child who whines a lot.
Which never happens in this house (by unwhining children).
Which is quickly confirmed to be untrue.
Ian whines again.
I pull something together for the kids to eat.
They go to bed.
I inhale a Chipotle burrito with added salt because I cannot stop punishing myself for every concerted effort I make towards weight loss.
We go to bed.
I wake up at 4:43am.
I stay awake.
I pray.
Ian wakes up at 6:17am whining for applesauce, which has never happened (waking up begging for applesauce, not whining).
He persists.
I almost cry.
On tap for the next 24 hours: Call Kaiser over a fee I am not supposed to be charged as per their plan policy, wait to see if the granite company will come out TODAY to fix their really inexcusable shoddy workmanship, try to be a good up to par non screaming mom, not lock myself in the closet or eat a whole bag of chocolate chip cookies.
Help.
Posted at 6:03 am | Comments (3)
